Animals Are So Crazy Sometimes

Jokes of the day

A Lazy Labrador

A blind man is waiting at a traffic light.
Sitting next to him, his superb Labrador.
Another guy in front is watching the scene. The traffic light turns green, the dog does not move. Two minutes later, the light turns red, the dog does not move yet.
The blind man then takes a cake from his pocket and delivers it to the dog. The boy approaches the blind man and tells him:
– Excuse me, sir, but your dog is not doing his job and you still give him a reward?
– No, it’s to know where his head is, so I can kick his ass!


The duck and the bartender

It’s a duck that goes to a bar. He asks the bartender:
– Do you have any milk?
– No, says the bartender.
The day after, the duck returns:
– Do you have any milk?
– No, the barman answers again.
On the third day, the duck returns again:
– Do you have any milk?
– No, the barman impatiently says to him. And if you go back to ask for milk, you’ll nail it with a hammer.
– Ok.
The day after, the duck returns:
– Do you have nails?
– No, said the bartender.
– Do you have a hammer?
– No.
– Can I have milk?

When drug arrive in savannah

A small rabbit runs into the jungle when he sees a giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit stops and says to the giraffe: “Giraffe, my friend, do not smoke marijuana and instead come running with me to keep me fit.

The giraffe thought for a minute and decided to leave the marijuana to follow the rabbit. They are running together now, when they see an elephant getting ready to smell some coke.

The rabbit approaches the elephant and tells him:
– Friend elephant, stop sniffing coca and come running with us to keep your shape.
The elephant throws away the coke and follows the other two.

On the road, the three animals meet a lion ready to inject themselves with heroin. And the rabbit says to him:
– Lion, buddy, do not inject more heroin. Come and run with us instead. You’ll see that you’ll be fine.

The lion approaches the rabbit and puts a slap so huge that the rabbit is completely stunned. The other animals, shocked, turned against the lion:

– Why did you do that? This rabbit was just trying to help us.
And the lion answers:

– This asshole always makes me run like crazy in the jungle every time he takes the ecstasy.


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