Animals Jokes

Womans and Bulls

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull'”

The Hen and The Dupe

A dupe strolls through the countryside when he hears “Coccodé coccodééé” squawking. The fool then sees a nice fat hen along the stream. He looks around. Seeing no one, he thinks well of chasing her and plucking her. But he suddenly hears footsteps. The owner of the hen appears in front of the sucker. The dupe then hides the animal behind his back. The farmer looks at him suspiciously: “Those are chicken feathers.” The dupe then replies, “Yes, they are the feathers of a hen. She had gone to take a bath and asked me to look at her clothes ”.

The Parrot Request

A guy has owned a parrot for years but this one day he begins to waste away and falls ill. The guy then calls the vet who advises him to take the parrot to a parrot and leave the two lovebirds alone. After a lot of research, the guy finally finds a beautiful parrot and pays the owners $300 to allow his darling to have some privacy with her. So they take the parrots, lock them in a cage and leave them alone in the room. After a while they hear screams. They enter the room and see the frightened parrot and the parrot with feathers in its mouth. This very angry complains: “Damn, for 300 euros I want you naked at least”.

When a Rottweiler Is called Jesús

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”

The Lion Prayer

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”

Funny Animals

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